Assaulted and Batteried
by Itsjustshe
Summary: Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended. Author's Note: I would like to thank Lanie for suggesting this companion piece to Unloaded Weapon! Hope you all enjoy


"So Amanda, would you like to stop at my place for a night cap." Lee asked while escorting his beautiful partner from the French Embassy to his waiting Corvette.

"Really , Lee, that's the best excuse you can come up with to get me to your apartment is for a night cap? Come on, Scarecrow, asking if I wanted to see your etchings would have been a little less obvious." Amanda laughed as she leaned a little closer to Lee enjoying the warmth of his nearness.

"Ok, is this less obvious? Hey Toots, let's go back to my place and get it on." Lee laughed. They reached the car and Lee helped Amanda settle in the passenger seat and then quickly rounded the car to get behind the wheel anxious to hear Amanda's answer.

"Well, it's a little crude, but truthful. I would love to go back to your place." Amanda leaned over to place a chaste kiss on his cheek as the car engine roared to life.

Entering his apartment, Lee suddenly found himself pressed up against the door with Amanda attached to his lips. Groaning, he let his hands wander up and down her curves while enjoying her assault on his mouth. _If this is what her mouth can do while kissing me, I wonder how it will feel on the rest of me. Tonight is the night I've been waiting for for so long, maybe slowing down would be a good idea._ With that in mind, Lee pushed Amanda back a little not wanting to lose all contact with her.

"Amanda, let's pour a glass of wine and relax on the couch for a little while."

"Lee, I thought you wanted this as much as I do." Amanda said while looking down at their feet, hurt evident in her voice.

"You know I do." He replied while reaching for her hand and rubbing it across his throbbing member.

"Well, then why stop to have a glass of wine? Why not make love? It's what we both obviously want." Amanda asked while slowly rubbing her hand up and down Lee's zipper.

"Okay, Amanda, you win." Lee reached for the zipper on her dress and slowly lowered it. He then peeled it from her svelte body. Meanwhile, Amanda made quick work of removing his jacket and tie. Once his shirt was unbuttoned including the cuffs, she slid it from his torso letting her hands roam freely. Lee couldn't stop the low growl from escaping his lips. He was going to finally make love to his Amanda. As he came to his senses, Lee wasn't sure how but he was now standing in just his blue boxers and black socks. He pulled back from their heated kisses to take in Amanda's beauty as she stood in her black lace, body hugging chemise. She took his breath away! Lee swooped her up and headed to the bedroom, kissing her all the way. Slowly lowering her to his bed, he was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions and desire.

With Amanda laying in the middle of the bed, Lee stretched out on his right side letting his left hand discover all the new territory of Amanda. He lost all chance of rational thought when he felt Amanda's hand wrap around him under his boxer shorts. He rolled to his back and allowed Amanda to take control, something he never did in bed. Her right hand kept a rhythmic stroke while changing the tightness of her grip with no rhyme or reason.

"Amanda, you need to stop." Lee groaned

"No." She stated firmly.

"No?" He groaned quickly losing the last bit of his restraint.

"No" she repeated. "I like to complete the job I started."

"Amanda, seriously, you need to stop. I don't know how much more I can take."

"Okay Big Fella, I'll stop...in a minute." Amanda laughed as Lee once again groaned through gritted teeth.

Lee reached down and wrestled her hand from his member and then pushed her onto her back and covered her with his body. He captured her lips in a fierce kiss.

As he slid the black lace up her body enjoying the feel of her soft skin under his fingertips, they both jumped as the shrill ring echoed in the room.

Amanda quickly wrapped her arms and right leg around Lee. "Let the machine get it. Please, Lee, don't answer it."

"Amanda, I have to. It could be Billy. It could be important."

"Exactly why you shouldn't get it. Lee, I need you. If you pick it up, you'll have to back to work. Do you really want to go into work in your current state." Amanda reached down to stroke him and prove her point.

After six rings, the phone quieted while Billy's voice came out of the answering machine.

"Scarecrow, pick up the damn phone. I need you at the office. Scarecrow, I know you're there. I'll drive over and break down your door if I have to."

Lee untangled himself and picked up the handset of the phone on the nightstand. "Yeah Billy, I'm here. I was just about to jump in the shower."

"Lee, we've had a breakthrough on the Lansdowne case and since you lead agent on the case, we need you here to interrogate the suspect."

"Yeah Billy, I get it. I need 45 minutes to shower and get there."

Lee hung up the phone and turned to find Amanda already dressed. "Amanda, I'm sorry. I don't want to but I have to go. He stood and walked towards her. Wrapped in his arms, Amanda wanted to cry. She had never wanted anyone the way she wanted Lee right now. She knew he had no choice, if he did, he wouldn't leave, of that she was sure.

Amanda looked into his eyes and said. "Lee, I understand. Please don't apologize. You don't like it anymore than I do. It's the nature of the business we're in."

"How did I get so lucky?" Lee smiled

"Actually Scarecrow, you didn't get lucky, you almost got lucky but you didn't get lucky. Tomorrow night, you'll definitely get lucky."

Lee let out a hearty laugh pulling Amanda close."I'll look forward to it. Let me get dressed and I'll drive you home."

"Lee, I can take a cab. Billy is waiting on you."

"Let him wait. I'm going to make sure you get home safely."

Lee's Corvette pulled up in front of Amanda's house. Lee jumped from the car and helped Amanda out. When they got to her front door, Lee wrapped his hand around her neck and pulled her to him for a lingering kiss. "I love you, Amanda. Good night. I'll call you in the morning to make plans for our date."

"Can we make it for some place without phones." Amanda smiled up at him, brushed a soft kiss across his lips "I love you too, Lee." With that she turned the key and disappeared from his sight. Lee turned and headed back to his car and back to work hoping that tomorrow would get here quickly.

Frustrated with the turn of events, Amanda yanked open her closet door and immediately kicked one then the other of her shoes violently against the back wall. _When are we ever gonna catch a break, she thought. First Francine breaks a tooth causing us to miss our planned dinner date at Lee's apartment, followed by a little dessert and then after we worked the whole evening, Billy calls Lee in for help on an interrogation just when things were heating up._ As she hung up her now discarded dress, she remembered her keepsake from tonight's soiree. She went back to her dresser for her purse to retrieve the Eiffel Tower key chain that had been holding their place card. Table number 29, seats 4  & 5 had afforded them the perfect vantage point of most of the ballroom and the doors to the outside balcony.

She went back into her closet to put it with her other keepsakes from their many adventures. Pulling the box from the shelf, something from behind it fell and bounced off her skull and landed heavily on the floor. Looking down she started to laugh when she recognized the item as a long forgotten present from her college roommate Kitty. Sitting on the floor of the closet she thought, _how do I explain to work that I got a concussion from a vibrator. I can just hear Francine's snide comment about not needing to give head to a vibrator._

Remembering the day the package came in the mail, a week after she filed for divorce, she thought it was sweet that Kitty would send her a pick-me-up gift to help cheer her up. She sat at the kitchen table with her mother after getting back from dropping the boys off at school and found the package waiting for her. Amanda opened the attached card and read it out loud so her mother could enjoy the surprise too. _Amanda, just a not so little something to get you through those long lonely nights._

 _"Oh Amanda, Kitty is always so thoughtful. Do you think maybe it a nice bottle of wine?". Dotty guessed. "I don't know mother let's open it and find out". As she opened the box, Amanda immediately started to blush._

 _"Oh my gosh, what in Sam Hill possessed her to buy this for me? How am I ever gonna get rid of it? I can't very well throw it in with our trash. What will the trash men think if they see it" Amanda exclaimed._

 _"They're gonna think you were a fool for throwing it away without at least trying it". Dotty laughed._

 _"Mother! I couldn't possibly keep that in the house, never mind use it."_

 _"Amanda, dear, when did you become so reserved?" Dotty asked while leaning back in her chair enjoying her daughter's obvious discomfort. "From the tales you've told me, you aren't a prude. I mean anyone who would have sex on home plate at her boyfriend's high school reunion is just not a prude."_

 _"Mother, that was different. Joe and I were young, crazy and in love. I was in college and he was in law school. I was just helping him fulfill a fantasy of the star baseball player and the cheerleader. I'm older now. I have more responsibilities. I have Phillip and Jamie to consider. How could I possible use that, that, that...thing when I have two small boys sleeping in the next room.". Amanda explained while she got up from her chair and began to pace waving the offensive object around._

 _"Well, first they will be sleeping so unless it or you are very loud, they will never know. Second, who said it could only be used at night? I was also thinking of the boys. They will have a much better childhood if their mother is not frustrated." Dotty pushed her glasses back up from where they were perched on the edge of her nose and pretended to read the obituaries while waiting for her daughter anticipated reaction._

 _"Mother, how could you even suggest such a thing! I will not use that in the daytime or at night and I am not frustrated.". Grabbing the card, she spun on her heels and raced to her bedroom to hide the vibrator until she could dispose of it in a public trash can away from her house. Her mother was right, she is not a prude but the thought of using it upset her. She enjoyed sex but always with a partner. She never found the need to make it a solo activity. Even when Joe left on an extended trip, she never felt the need to relieve the pressure. She would rather let it build until Joe's return. It made for some long, glorious nights in his arms. She was still young and attractive. Surely she would have a male companion soon enough. Until then, she would put all her effort into raising her two boys._

 _Opening her nightstand drawer, she decided against that as her hiding place, the boys often snooped looking for hidden candy bars. A girl has to have her secret stash. Moving on to her dresser. She decided against that since she didn't want to see it mocking her lacking sex life every time she need to change underwear. Ah, the top shelf of the closet! Perfect. It would be high enough for the boys not to find and yet should could easily get it when she had the opportunity to dispose of it_.

Coming out of her reverie, she once again looked at the lifelike object in her hand and rose to her feet and left the closet. She sat in the middle of her bed wondering what it might feel like. Kitty had often sung its virtues. Claiming it was what got her through her divorce.

 _I wonder if it feels like the real thing as the package had declared._ She slowly removed it from the packaging. _Not quite the right texture but gripping it feels about the same._ Pushing the switch to the on position she felt disappointed that it didn't come to life. Flipping the package over hoping for further instructions, she said to her empty room, "Of course, batteries not included." Oh well, it was fate. She waited this long for Lee, she can wait another 18 hours.

She ran her fingers through her hair. Another habit she had picked up from her charming partner when she felt it. She already had a lump forming on her head from where her present had hit her.

 _I should really get some ice for this before the swelling gets out of hand._ She then wondered if Lee's swelling had gone down since she held him in her hand. Smiling at that thought, she went downstairs to get the ice pack from the freezer.

As she closed the refrigerator door she spotted them. The rest of the batteries from the package she opened earlier. _Yes, fate is stepping in again. I should take the edge off or it would be over faster than it began tomorrow night._

Grabbing the package, she raced up the stairs and plopped onto her bed. Quickly she found the battery compartment and loaded her weapon making sure they were facing the right way. Once again pushing the on button delighted when it sprang to life.

 _Oh Wow! This could be fun. She thought as she pushed the button to off._

Turning down her bed covers and removing her lingerie, she settled against her pillows in a comfortable position.

Again to her empty room, she said "I can't believe I'm about to do this!"

Turning the speed dial to low before turning the power back on, she started to lower it to her center.

"Mind if I watch?"

Amanda let out a blood curdling scream and jumped sending the vibrator through the air and landing at Lee's feet where he casually leaned against the doorframe.

Grabbing for the covers, Amanda exclaimed. "Lee! What are you doing here! I thought Billy needed you tonight,"

"He did but obviously not as much as you needed me tonight.". Lee laughed as he sauntered over to her bed slowly removing his t shirt.

"Oh my gosh, I can't believe you just saw that. Lee, I've never, not once have I ever..." Amanda stammered.

As he sat on the bed, Lee leaned forward and captured her lips. "Amanda, it's alright. We all have had to take matters into our own hands every once in awhile but now that I'm here, do you mind using the real thing? It doesn't need batteries."


End file.
